...a few months later...

J

Jason13

New member
Soooo...been on Chicago Reefs about 5 months and I sort of decided it wasn't for me.

Maybe some of you are thinking "Who cares? I don't even know this guy.". That's ok. I just wanted to offer some of my thoughts for consideration.

My experience has been lackluster at best. I found out more from reading posts than from posting myself that this forum, like many others is "clicky" and elitist. It's farr to difficult to be taken seriously unless you are a select few.

Even more unappealing is the ramoabt and sometimes predatory selling that goes on. Everyone is out to make a buck more than they are to come together as a group with a common interest. Not to say selling items is a bad thing, but I've seen a bunch first hand and during a few transactions I have been deliberately lied to because the seller thought I didn't know much.

All in all, I was hesitant to join the forum, but hey, I tried it out and it just wasn't for me.

-Good luck to everyone and their slices of the ocean. Maybe obe day CR will morph into what I expected it to ve and I'll be back.

-J

Sent from my SGH-T959V using Tapatalk 2
 
I think I can relate to what you are saying. That is how I felt when I first got here. But as a wise man said, give it time. I think of CR as more of a brotherhood of reefers than a casual social club. The place is built on relationships and trust. Trust must be earned, and it takes time. One experience build upon another, and as time passes people know you and you know them.

You will not like everyone, that would be unrealistic. But as a whole the group is great. It has something that other forums lack, fellowship. i'm still learning, im still earning trust, so time will tell. People have given me free stuff, without any self interest, and I was a complete stranger. I have visited other people's homes.

The marketplace is actually a good place to jump from a petshop reefer to a real reefer without mortgaging the house. All the good equipment is very expensive, but it is an expensive hobby. It creates opportunities you would otherwise ignore because of cost.

It is a place where the stupid, absurd, and silly ideas in your head about reefs and the hobby will be heard and not sound so crazy...

in my honest and personal opinion, it is your loss if you leave, but remember that old quote "i wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member", and that is the humor of it. You have to push your way in and show that you can contribute and that you can earn the trust of others, but you have to make the effort, people wont come to seek you out.

When I started here I must have been perceived as an a$$hole, maybe still, but i'm determined to be a part of this community, time will tell.

my 2 cents' worth.
 
Yea i know we hard on the new people think its cause we see so many come and go and so many just come on to sell then disapear . Well i still wish u luck with u reefing. To be fair i cant even ask a queation and get a serious answer . So i stopped asking so its not just new people lol. Take care buddy
 
Gosh darnit, I'm the resident a$shole and I haven't interacted with either of you much yet. I don't come here to make a buttload of $$, but I also don't come here to learn...I come here to see where are awesome community is at any given time. I see where ppl are meeting. If I wanted to learn, I'll go to where experiences are global.

Gluck with your slice of the ocean. I hope you continue :)
 
jayjigga said:
Gosh darnit, I'm the resident a$shole and I haven't interacted with either of you much yet. I don't come here to make a buttload of $$, but I also don't come here to learn...I come here to see where are awesome community is at any given time. I see where ppl are meeting. If I wanted to learn, I'll go to where experiences are global.

Gluck with your slice of the ocean. I hope you continue :)
Click to expand...

Hush troll go back to your bridge!! Small handed goon!! :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free but I paid for it, where's my refund!!
 
I joined here after always being a lurker and not a poster on several forums and within the second post here, I got trolled and lost my cool, only to have several of the veterans around here calm me down and recommend I stick it out. I'm glad I did. I've been around a few months and I have made several friends, wish I lived closer to the guys that always get together, but I don't and now will live even further; however, that will not keep me from reading through posts when I get a chance and continue trying to "earn" some respect around here.

This is a good community, with MANY personalities. You should reconsider, because after all, it's about sharing experiences and our love for the hobby, not a popularity contest. Is this a cliquey forum? Pretty much. But, in a good way IMO. If I stuck it out, you should too!!
 
Hey Jason

So you are leaving the forum and not reefing right ??

I'm sure you will come back soon to the forum, we all hope you would.

Leaving the forum cause there are a few assoles Is like moving out of a condo just cause you can't stand the doorman. Ignore who you don't like and talk to who you like.

Many of us are lie here all the time and we talk/chat here more than we talk to our coworkers ( sometimes), take your time but stereo typing is always a loss to yourself :)


Good luck and come back ( you are already popular now :) )
 
I'm sorry that this has been your experience but in my opinon, based on my experience, I feel it's been completely the opposite. How many meets have you attended? How many of the local reefers have you met offline?

There may seem to be a few "cliques" on ChicagoReefs but they aren't "cliques". These are groups of people with a common interest who have developed friendships and relationships that they have taken offline. They aren't lurking on the forums and hiding behind screens. I've met everyone who has posted in this thread minus you and Hugo. I've become friends with many of the spouses and signifigant others and played with their kids. I've forwarded resumes on to recruiters and human resource heads and gone out of my way to make help courier livestock and dry goods between sellers and buyers locally and in other states. I've been to every Mini-Meet, BBQ and Party this year. We've hung out at LFS after business hours and other reefers homes leaving at 3 AM. And I don't do these things just because I am the Social Director on Chicago Reefs, but I genuinely care about these people, their families and the friendships we have built.

This forum is what you make of it and you can't leave all the work for everyone else to do and not be willing to at least step up and say "hello" and get to know people offline. Someone I met for the first time recently said he was expecting me to walk through the door wearing pink everything with a tiara and feather boa and what he expected was far from what he got. We're all more then our online personas and you can't sterotype us and put the blame on us for your experience.

If you want to leave CR, then I wish you the best of luck, as this forum has been the most active and friendliest I have ever been on. I've meet more people from this forum in the last two years then I have in another local forum that I have participated in since 2001. You'll be missing out on meeting and hanging out with some of the greatest people I have ever had drinks or split a caramel cake with.
 
:congrats: to what Walt said. If you decide to change your mind and stay, join us at a meet or two before you make your final judgments. We all come from very diverse demographics, and most of us are speak your mind kinda people. You say we are clicky, but truth be told these are some of the most straight forward people you will meet. And most of them are good to have around.
 
We are all screwed up in a special way.... Heck even I don't post that often anymore but I been in the hobby long enough to know... I do agree this forum should be a learning experience not most people feel the need to hang out and get to know everyone, some folks just want to sit behind the computer and get ideas and do things for themselves. Not everyone is going to be a social follower and be at BBQ and meets. I am sure most of us do have kids and wives that prevent us from doing so. But if you feel the need to leave then I understand. I would stick around also and maybe try and make a meet or 2.
 
I cannot speak for the OP, but I think he is referring to cliquey regarding posting and responses. If you spend anytime on these boards you will notice the same 5-6 people tend to respond heavily to each others posts and not so much on some of the random posts, maybe such as his. I know this isn't always the case and please don't hang me for this, it is just something I have noticed! I think "we" all may be a little guilty of not responding to something that really doesn't pertain to us individually. I for instance, usually only see the threads that are "recent" because I usually do not have time to sit and filter through all the different areas of the boards, so I know I miss a ton of posts.

I do notice that folks tend to respond well for me when I do have a question, so I have ZERO complaints and of course I try to respond when I feel I have any positive input on a subject or question. So basically my point is that even though it may seem cliquey, it really isn't. It's friends, who know each other better than others and it is usually a few of them ribbing each other back and forth. That is because they feel comfortable doing so. I couldn't agree more with Walt, get to know these folks and I guarantee you will have a different attitude! I have only met a few folks, Walt being one of them, and it was ME who introduced myself to him, because I recognized him in his pink outfit! :)

As I said before, I think you should seriously reconsider your stance and just forget this ever happened, I know these guys will!!
 
Sorry you feel this way. I think Walt said it best though.

I joined almost a year ago, and the first event I went to was the CMAS Christmas party. Met a few CR people there. I then went to the Reewise Christmas party and met a bunch of people there as well.

Most of the people on this site have reef keeping in common. That is why we are all here. The friendships that have developed beyond this site have been a great bonus.

You don't have to attend every BBQ, Bar Mitzvah, Wedding, apple bobbing, etc, in order to make friends and acquaintances.

It was also mentioned earlier that we see a lot of noobs come and go. This is true. Personally when I see a thread along the lines of "what is a protein skimmer and should I get one", I ignore it. Is it because I'm elitist? No it is not. It's simply because all one needs to do is google that question to get a plethora of answers. There are several threads like that monthly. Some questions can be answered with a little work done on the persons part.

I learned the fundamentals of reef keeping by reading. Anything I wasn't clear on I searched the web for. There are some things that are confusing like dosing. Most times you'll find what you need online, other times you'll just get confused by something like dosing. That's fine.

You mentioned the marketplace and people only being in it for the money. I couldn't agree with you more. Some people have only used this site for that reason. Is it wrong, in a way yes, but in a way no. If they contribute to the site and are offering frags for less than what you would pay at a shop, then that's a service to the community. If the majority of their threads are for sale threads, then yes, they aren't contributing, and those people usually only end up selling to noobs anyways. If you want to see people getting ripped off, head over to the marketplace on Reef 2 Reef. See what those prices are like.

If you leave, I wish you good luck. I think you should stay also. Come to an event, meet some people. Maybe you're an introvert, and that's okay. I'm sure someone will introduce themselves to you and then provide introductions for you.

The key thing about this site is it is truly a community, rather than reef central, or any of the other sites. If you're on RC, it's 3am, your tank is crashing, and you don't have enough water to do a WC, I'm sure there is someone awake on here that would offer water to you. You need advice on your set up in person, there will be someone to offer you help.
 
I just read through this thread and every post is a perfect example of this forum. Some are here to learn, some to teach, some to do both and also hang out. You just have to find your place and what you are looking for from the forum.

I joined less than a year ago and I feel I am a part of the family. If I am not, then the forum has done a really good job of making me feel welcomed. I meet a new person from here every month. You just have to get involved and be open to help on here. I know there is drama on here and I will say, in my opinion, it is because people come here looking for help and get mad when they don't hear what they want to. Don't let their experiences shy you away from the forum.

My first post here was an introduction post and the tang police jumped my a$$. Rightfully so too. I had a tiny yellow tang and a small blue hippo in a 28 Gal nano cube. Stupid mistake but I didn't know better and once I explained that, everyone was very helpful in explaining everything to me.

This forum helped me learn a lot of things about my tank and the community really got me involved in the hobby. I am so much more into the hobby and knowledge than I ever thought I could be. This is a tight knit community, but it is a rewarding one. There is a lot of give and take here, just like any relationship.
 
Jason, i feel like like you may be being a bit hard on these guys but i can also relate, i too have had those same feelings. I am also pretty new here and its not always easy finding your place in an established community but, like everyone else here said, make the effort and you will not be disappointed, i have had the pleasure meeting a handful of these folks on here and while i don't have the time to get downtown often, every time these guys are up my way i make it a point to at least make an appearance say hello and build my relationship with them. i have bumped a head or two, but in the end we are all here for the same reason. and a local forum is nothing but a HUGE PLUS in this hobby. like someone else already said, you are popular now, lol. use that to your advantage. personally i would (and did) give it another chance. i think you will regret leaving so soon. good luck :)
 
I agree that one should do their research. When I first started, I did not do as much as I should have and I realized that after joining here. I don't think this place is elitist but there is a way to ask questions too. You always get people asking questions to things a simple google search will answer. However, you also get those that do their research and have questions on it or don't fully understand and I always see guys here answer those. I have had a few of them too. There is a difference between "What is a protein skimmer?" and "I have a few skimmer's in mind for my system. Does anyone have experience with this one and I read that it does this.... is it something to worry about?" So yes, i agree, there are ways to ask and that is the poster's responsibility.

As for the marketplace, I know I have gotten some good deals there and I have had help when my system crashed. If it wasn't for this forum, I would have threw in the towel during that crash. Now I have a beautiful tank that my entire family enjoys.

I can vouch for guys helping you on here. I had tons of support and advice when my system crashed. So many offered to let me borrow things and get me back on my feet and nobody knew me here at the time.
 
I have hosted and thrown more personal parties for this forum then anyone on the site. Most of the activel reefers have been to my house and partied and drank together. At one bbq I had almost 40 people from this site at my house. They met my gf and gotten licked by my dog lol. Some people are here just to show up, be as holes and leave. But most people are helpful and awesome. If it wasn't for the cr fam I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am in knowledge as I am now. Most of these people are really good honest people. Hell even Saturday my gf told me she enjoys partying with cr people better then my friends. Everyone is so generous and respectful it's like hanging out with family.

Cr is what u make it. If u show up and ask the same question that we have answered 1000x before we me be a little harsh. But if u do a simple Google search before u post you'll find out your not the only person with that "strange stringy algae" or how do I cycle.

Stay a while and enjoy. It'll be worth your time
 
Joe5688 said:
Cr is what u make it. If u show up and ask the same question that we have answered 1000x before we me be a little harsh. But if u do a simple Google search before u post you'll find out your not the only person with that "strange stringy algae" or how do I cycle.
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I have nothing against Google. Google is your friend in the end. I think some of us are missing the point iof Community and Learning of course us Season folks know to go to Google but sometimes Noobs just don't know to do that? They might but sometimes they just might want to hear it from us the community than just diggin into google. I would rather have someone ask the question than google it helps build knowlegde base and post count to the site than just going to google and not asking the community. I mean it's a win/lost. As large as this community become I think the go to google can be fraud upon on some noobs which some might not want to come back becasue they see it as well that site no help if they just want me to Google everything. Just sayin :)
 
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